Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
