either way he was missing a nipple.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Bring me that man meat
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
