I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
