She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize