I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
