i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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