he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
