i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Congratulations! We have a period
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