Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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