i think my tv is drunk
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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