I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
