god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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