I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
