Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
