idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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