I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
