And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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