That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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