You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
