I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
