So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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