Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
