come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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