you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
