nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
