it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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