No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
