Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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