Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
