just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
