i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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