how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
