my mouth tastes like poor choices
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
