You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
