yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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