I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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