Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize