That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize