I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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