Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
