If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
