Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
