I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
