We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
