Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
