are you so shy because you have an std?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
