ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
