ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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