So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
