he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
