you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
