you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My cat gives me a boner
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
