This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
