4 words: hood of his car
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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