Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
