We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
