PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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