i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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