oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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