so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
