careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
