8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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