Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
