By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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