Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
