I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
