I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
