White coat. Heels.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Green mimosas i think yes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
