The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
